Etiquette 101

With fewer and fewer families actually owning a kitchen table and more and more families eating in front of the TV, table manners are fast becoming a thing of the past.

My friend Krista came up with the idea that we should find a way to teach our kids some proper table manners. She gave me the job of finding someone who would. I contacted Nicole from the Nova Scotia Community College who teaches in the tourism program. She said that she often teaches table etiquette to her adult students, but had never done so to children, but she was willing to give it a try!

I warned her about what she was up against (8 active kids ranging in age from 6 to 9) but she accepted the challenge!

Before the big night, I sent the children all a formal invitation to come to our house for dinner wearing their formal attire. They arrived at 4:30pm in their finest.

Because it was a special occasion, I got out my best china dishes for the kids to use. We lay everything out in the middle of the table so that the kids would learn how to properly set the table.

Nicole sat the children down, and went over a few rules (raise your hand if you want to speak), and also a few manners that they already knew about (don’t speak with food in your mouth, don’t burp at the table, etc).

They then headed to the dining room where Nicole taught the kids how to fold cloth napkins in two different ways: a candlestick and a fleur-de-lis, which the kids thought looked more like a peeled banana!

She then taught the kids the proper placement for cutlery at the table.

Here’s an interesting trick that I learned. Make a circle with your thumb and index finger on each hand. One makes a “B” and the other a “D”. That means it is YOUR bread plate on the left, and YOUR drink on the right. A great mnemonic for setting the table is that everything with 4-letters is on the left (left has 4 letters, therefore, f-o-r-k). On the right (5 letters) is what has 5-letters: s-p-o-o-n, k-n-i-f-e.

We then got down to the nitty-gritty about table manners. Here’s what we learned:

1. Bread and Butter: Take a slice of butter and put it on your bread plate. Then, politely pass the butter dish to the next person. When you eat your roll, pull off a bite-sized piece and butter that – one piece at a time.

2. Soup: Scoop your soup away from you (to avoid it splashing on your clothes) before bringing it to your mouth.

4. Salad: Eat your salad with the smaller of the two forks on the left side of your place setting. This should be the fork furtherest away. (Eat your way in towards the plate).

You can either eat your salad with your fork upside down, or rightside up!

5. Salt and Pepper: When someone politely asks you to pass the salt or pepper, always pass them together, regardless. Pretend that they are married and need to stick together!

6. Cutting Meat: There are two ways to cut your meat with a knife and fork. In both ways, you cut the meat with your fork in your left hand, and the knife in your right hand. Then, you can place your knife across the top of your plate and transfer your fork back to your right hand to eat normally.

OR, you can keep the fork in your left hand, and bring it to your mouth upside down.

7. Finishing your meal: To show that you are not finished your meal (if you have to leave the table for a moment), place your cutlery in an ‘X’ on your plate.

If you are finished your meal, place your cutlery together across your plate at the “10:00” position.

8. Leaving the Table: If you have to leave the table (like to go to the washroom) always asked to be excused. Leave your napkin on your chair when you go.

9. Serving Yourself: The kids practiced serving themselves by cutting their own piece of cake. Make sure to cut a small piece and pass it politely to the next person.

10. Wait for Others: For each course of the meal, wait till everyone has been served before starting to eat. The same goes for clearing the table. Don’t clear away the dishes until everyone is finished.

11. Finishing the Meal: When you are finished eating, stand up, push your chair in, and take your dish to the kitchen.

Practicing

Nicole gave a few suggestiongs for helping kids to keep practicing their etiquette.

– Reward children when you see them using their good manners. Create a point system where they can cash their points in for prizes.

– Create a safe word. When you see someone not using their best table manners, use this word to politely remind them.

– Take it on the road. If the children can use their best table manners so many days in a row, reward them by taking them to a fancy restaurant!

Overall – The kids had a great time learning about table manners. They absorbed so much information (so did the adults!). They especially liked learning how to fold the napkins!

In the future, Nicole suggested that if you are going to teach kids about table manners, smaller groups would work better. We had 8 kids, but 4 would have been ideal and easier to manage. Good luck!

Now to practice!